, ♥

dehydrating from all those tears leaking from my eyes...
I've been crying or feel like crying since yesterday
asking why is futile...i also don't really know how a happy ending can make me so sad
perhaps i was too touched to think straight anymore

did i mention I'm losing sleep, appetite and temper?
i hardly sleep more than 3hrs everyday
glued myself to my laptop to cheer myself up
for the past days the cumulative meals i had for every single day is less than a bowl of rice
day 1: 1 banana
day 2: i don't even remembering eating
day 3: 3 cups of barley+ a few siew mai
day 4: 1/2 pack of maggi noodles
that's all i had in a day, even though i woke up early and sleep late
sometimes i don't even drink anything
when i do, i can gulped quite a lot

i hardly talk to anyone
not even ai qiang, esp when he keeps irritating me every time
it really set me on fire of anger
like today, other than sms some people, i talked less than 10 sentences, even though i was working at my parents there
out of which, 4 sentences are "anything", when they ask me what i wanna eat
n i can't even bother with mass online conversation
every time i say I'm going off, I'll drag on til the wee hours
i pray that i don't look like a zombie on crack

it's not diet
it's not anorexia
all the more I'm not possessed
but it's really for 24/7 i just feel like crying
when i see food i hope to puke

before u reach out to call the IMH
or your temple/church priest
let's hope tml is a better day
cause it's besties meet up day!!
maybe I'll be cured
but til then, I've to convince myself to close the watery tap and go to sleep
i really need it before i go blind